How to Get Your Child to Listen

6 Positive Parenting Steps That Build Cooperation

How Do I Make My Child Listen?

You Don’t — But You Can Create Cooperation

One of the biggest frustrations for parents is feeling like their child “never listens.” But the truth is, you can’t make anyone do anything — not a child, not an adult. What you can do is create the conditions that invite cooperation. When children feel connected, understood, and respected, they naturally become more willing to work with you.

Here are five simple, powerful ways to increase cooperation at home:

1. Connect First

Before giving a direction, step into your child’s world.
Notice what they’re doing and comment on it:
“You’re really focused on that puzzle!”

Get on their level physically, stay near them, and give instructions within the space they’re already in. Connection opens the door to cooperation.

2. Empathise

Take a moment to imagine the world through your child’s eyes.
What might make it hard for them to do what you’re asking right now?

Maybe they’re absorbed in play, tired, hungry, or overwhelmed. When you show empathy — “I know it’s hard to stop when you’re having fun” — you reduce resistance and invite understanding.

3. Communicate Gently & Clearly

Children can only follow what they can clearly understand.
Keep instructions simple and direct. After giving a direction, ask them to repeat it back to you. This isn’t a test — it’s a gentle way to make sure the message actually landed. Take it step by step and avoid giving multiple instructions at once.

4. Give Choice

When children refuse to cooperate, it’s often their way of saying, “I need more control.”

Offer choices you’re genuinely comfortable with:
“Blue cup or green cup?”
“Shoes on now or in two minutes?”

Small choices create a big sense of autonomy, which increases willingness.

5. Notice the Good in Them

Children thrive when they feel seen in a positive light. When you pair a request with recognition of a strength or skill, cooperation rises dramatically.

“I love that you’re so helpful — can you bring me the bag?”
“You have such strong hands. Can you help me carry this?”

Seeing the good in them helps them see the good in themselves.

6. Listen

If your child has strong opinions about why they shouldn’t do what you are asking - listen. Often, all we need is an opportunity to vent our frustration to move forward, and an objection to the task doesn’t mean your child won’t do it once they’ve let you know how they feel. Once they’ve been heard, gently restate your request, and you may be amazed at how willingly your child cooperates.

If Your Child Still Won’t Cooperate…

Send me a message with your situation, and I’ll help you explore more strategies. And if you’re feeling frustrated or discouraged, let’s change that — you don’t have to navigate this alone.