How to Raise Courageous Children
Children need courage to embrace life fully, so how can we help them develop this quality?
There are five key things.
Acceptance
Accepting our children fully for who they are. Avoid labelling your child with a set personality type or traits that could impose limitations on them. Instead, celebrate their uniqueness. Understand that they are individuals who think differently, have unique experiences, and view their world through different eyes. Full acceptance means examining all the ideas in our head about who our children should be or who we want them to be and noticing and embracing who they are.
Attention
When we give our children our undivided attention and fully listen to them, we show them that their thoughts are valued and matter. Being listened to helps them to be brave in their thinking and to trust that what they are thinking is worthy. Attention doesn’t have to take long, either. Still, it does need to be a regular, uninterrupted time where you connect with them and allow them to take the lead in the dialogue or in play.
Appreciation
Telling our children what we love, admire or appreciate about them helps them build up a positive picture of themselves. Suppose you, as their parent, tell them they are creative, responsible, good company, or whatever else you love about them. In that case, they will believe that about themselves. They can draw on that belief in moments when life doesn’t go as planned, and they need resilience to get through. They can use that belief to contribute with courage and to feel capable of trying new things.
Praise in Moderation
Praise isn’t bad per se, but if we only praise our children for the things they produce or the things they do, they start to believe their self-worth is the sum of these things. They feel the need to do these things to win our approval rather than feel valued for who they are and the qualities they possess. It can lead to a need to produce perfection in everything they do and anxiety around their performance. Instead, substitute appreciation for praise whenever possible. (for more on this, read my blog post, Appreciation vs Praise)
A Courageous Role Model
How courageous are you? How able are you to be vulnerable, to try new things, to stand up for what you value, and to fully embrace life? It can be tough to face up to some of the changes we need to make to role model the things we’d love our children to learn, but if we do, we gain so much. Not only do we get a wonderful opportunity to live courageously, but we can also confidently know we are leading by example.
Accepting your child requires accepting yourself; giving attention requires time management and priority setting; giving appreciation can highlight a need to grieve for what we might not have received when we were children; and being a courageous role model takes self-understanding and compassion. 1-2-1 coaching with me can support you through all this and more. Please book an inquiry session if you would like to discuss coaching with me.
